What If… ???

What.

If.

Two words, that when put together & followed by a question mark… can eat you alive… can literally torment your every waking moment & every subconscious dream.

What if… ?

What if… ??

What if… ???

They say to live life with NO regrets, but are there things in my life that I regret? …absolutely; however, I do NOT regret things that I HAVE done.  Are there things I have done, but shouldn’t have? – yes.  Are there things I have done, but wish I didn’t do? – yes.  But those aren’t the things I regret.  Everything I have done in my life, be it good or bad, be it smart or stupid, has made me the person I am today… and I have no regrets for that.

What I do regret in my life, are the things I HAVE NOT done… the things I wanted to do, but for whatever reason, did NOT do them.  Those are the things I regret, and I can look back on my life and “what if… ???” certain situations, but looking backwards isn’t going to get me anywhere.  Forward motion is what’s going to get me somewhere.  I both recognize & accept that what I regret most in life, are the things I wanted to do, but never did.  It is time to make peace with my past (to leave it where it is — in the past), to be ever present, to live with no regret, and…

to Always. Move. Forward.

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If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!
~ Rudyard Kipling

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I will be making some serious, life changing decisions in my near future… which while as exciting as they are, they are also scary.  Change is scary.  Discomfort is scary.  But growth can only come from change & discomfort.  I don’t want to be that person who allows fear to prevent me from doing something BIG.  I don’t want to be that person who settles for a comfortable life.

“If you focus on fear, you resign to stand in a doorway of possibility and potential; wondering what could have been.  If you take a step forward with faith… infinite possibilities begin manifesting.”

It is time for me to look fear in the face, to jump, to move forward, to not regret, and to not…

WHAT IF?

It is time to do big things!

The Aftermath: A “Skinny” Girl’s Perspective

Disclaimer:  Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, myself included.  This post is written through my eyes, as a “skinny” girl… having always been… the “skinny” girl.  This post is in no way meant to be offensive; however, I am aware that it may be taken as so.  I hope (that as adults)… that regardless of your agreement or disagreement with my post, you can & will respect my feelings.  Thank you.

__________

Lets talk Tri-State, since it is one of my main reasons for writing a post that is going to put my emotions, dignity, & integrity on the line…

(I’m going to cut right to the chase & start with Event 1)

Event 1 – 8 minute AMRAP of 9 (20″) Box Jumps, 6 Hand Release Push-Ups, 3 Front Squats (65#).  Strategically, I decided to pace myself during Event 1.  At this time, I was unaware of just how many events I would partake in throughout the day & what those events would consist of, so I didn’t want to burn myself out at the beginning.  My goal was to complete 5 rounds, so when I completed 7 +11, I was pretty happy with myself.  Then I started to hear some of the other girls’ rounds… 8+, 9+, even 10+.  I went from feeling pretty good about my 7+ rounds to feeling not so good about my 7+ rounds.  To make myself feel better, I reminded myself why I didn’t go all out on Event 1, which seemed to help a little bit.  I was ready & felt good going into…

Event 2 – ‘Grace’ (30 Clean & Jerks for time) at 65#.  I have to admit… ‘Grace’ had me pretty nervous.  I remembered it being death when I had done it just a month prior… or so I thought it was death, but when 3, 2, 1, GO happened… and I picked up the bar, I didn’t remember it feeling as light in January, as it did in this moment, but I was using the same weight I had used a month ago (65#).  I banged the first 10 C&J’s out at a pretty good pace, the second 10 out a little slower, & the third 10 I broke into 5 + 5.  *Shout out to Amit for being a super judge & getting me to pick the bar up when all I really wanted was a few more seconds of rest!*  My goal for ‘Grace’ wasn’t specific, but rather… just beat your time you had a month ago… and I did!  On January 7th, I finished ‘Grace’ in 4:34 at 65#.  At Tri-State (February 11th), I finished ‘Grace’ in 3:50 at 65#!  That’s a 44 seconds improvement in only ONE month… FOURTY FOUR SECONDS IMPROVEMENT!!!!!  I was STOKED!  Not only did I beat my ‘Grace’ time from a month before, but I beat it pretty significantly (at least in my eyes).  So here I am feeling awesome about my new ‘Grace’ time when I start to hear the ‘Grace’ time of some of the other girls… 1:45, 2:08, etc.  Back came that feeling that my good, was not so good after all. ‘Grace’ took almost everything out of me & I was feeling pretty wiped/verging on crappy, going into…

Event 3 – 6 minutes to establish 1 rep max Continental Clean & Jerk… rest 4 minutes… 6 minutes to Row as many meters as possible.  The Continental Clean & Jerk was frustrating for a couple reasons… 1 – having to load & unload the bar took time & energy away from what I had to give to the movement itself, 2 – the clips were new & I had difficulty getting them on/off, 3 – the weights I had were all messed up (ex:  I had an odd number of 10′s & no 15′s), which made calculating even more difficult than usual.  I CC&J’d 80#, which I was happy with (failed at 85#).  I was exhausted going into the row, even with 4 minutes rest in between.  I told my judge (who I didn’t know) to yell at me, like really yell at me… because that always seems to help me.  Whatever the reason, I had NOTHING left in me.  Literally… NOTHING.  You ever see those idiots (sorry if you’re one of them, haha) try to climb up the down escalators?? …Yea, that’s how I felt.  I was getting nowhere.  And my judge yelled… believe me, she yelled – “PUSH WITH YOUR LEGS!  BIGGER PULLS!  GET IT UNDER 2:10!”  It didn’t matter how much she yelled or what she yelled, I had nothing in me & was going nowhere & my split time crept higher & higher.  I think this may have been the worst 6 minutes in my CrossFit life…

Event 4 – 3 rounds for time of 7 Deadlifts (135#), 14 Air Squats, & 21 Single Unders.  I feel indifferent about this Event… most likely because it was the last event & I was exhausted & looking forward to being done at this point.  I don’t really have much to say about Event 4… I could have done it a little bit faster, but it was fine…  (or maybe I have nothing to say about this event because my brain was hurting/not functioning by this point in the day, haha).

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A “Skinny” Girl’s Perspective…

Long day complete, I felt pretty good about my performances, with the exception of my row, which was awful… so when results were posted on ACF’s main page… I scrolled down until I came across my name… and there it was… next to the number 43.  At this point, different waves of emotions swept through me… the most prominent… upset & disappointment, with anger & frustration following.

I was upset & disappointed because I thought I would have placed better than 43rd.  (This is where I should mention that I placed 43 out of 49… understand why I felt upset/disappointed now?)  I was angered & frustrated because this brought up a factor that bothers me in CrossFit, especially when it comes to competitions… a factor that usually plays against me… and that factor is my petite size.  I am in no way complaining about being petite.  I am very happy with my body right now & am moving in a healthy, forward direction regarding my food intake & my training.  I am merely stating that size isn’t taken into consideration when it comes to CrossFit.  I am about 5’1 & 1/2… and average 113lbs.

Lets take Event 1, which consisted of Front Squats 65#… that’s MORE THAN HALF my body weight.  To make math easy, lets say a female competitor of mine weighs 200lbs.  65# is 30lbs. LESS THAN HALF her body weight… so she’s front squatting much less than half her body weight, while I am front squatting more than half my body weight.  Fair?  I’d say not.

Lets take Event 2, which consisted of Clean & Jerks 65#.  Again, I am C&J’ing MORE THAN HALF my body weight, while a woman weighing 200lbs. is C&J’ing 30lbs. LESS THAN HALF of her body weight.  Fair?  I’d say not.

Event 3 – While 80# Continental Clean & Jerk is pretty awesome for me, “bigger” people can push more weight… I won’t say 100% of the time, but I’d say it’s pretty given…

And then there was Event 4, with Deadlifts at 135#… I had to deadlift about 20lbs. MORE than my body weight, while a woman weighing 200lbs. lifted significantly LESS than her body weight.  Fair?  I’d say not.

You might say, “Well Carissa, life’s not fair.”  And you’re right… life isn’t fair, buuttt… when it comes to a competition that is said to determine “fit” …I would be deemed fairly un-fit given my placement among those in the rec division.  Yes, there will always be somebody who is more “fit” than me… and I will always have room to improve my state of “fit,” but I think it is safe for me to say that I am a fairly fit person.  Can my strength still increase – yes!  Are there CrossFit movements I don’t have yet that I will one day have – absolutely!  But that doesn’t mean that I’m not fit now.

CrossFit competitions don’t take into consideration that while I was front squatting & clean & jerking more than half my body weight, other women were doing the same at much less than half their body weight.  CrossFit competitions don’t take into consideration that while I was deadlifting more than my body weight, other women were deadlifting much less than their body weight… and yet, we are supposed to be ranked “fit” under the same standards. CrossFit does not recognize the amount of weight that I can push/pull/lift in relation to my size/weight.  This is where my problem lies.

While I am upset & frustrated with everything I have just written about above, at the end of the day… I have to & need to know that I front squatted & clean & jerked more than half my body weight & that I deadlifted more than my body weight… and that most importantly, I improved my ‘Grace’ time by 44 seconds in one month.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is that I don’t think CrossFit competitions are a true & accurate measure of fitness.  If competitions were based on pushing/pressing/lifting a certain percentage of a person’s body weight, than yes… that would be a more accurate way to determine “fit.”  A quick, google definition of fit is “in good physical condition; in good health.” …of which I consider myself both.

So which am I??  I think it’s safe to say that I am fit.  The Tri-State Competition would say, not so much…

Yours Truly,

- C

Conquering Fears!

Two of my biggest fears… CrossFit fears… are height & being inverted.

When I joined CrossFit (now a little over a year ago), I had a HUGE fear of box jumps!  HUGE.  I started out by jumping on the baby boxes & I jumped on the baby boxes for quite a long time… not because I couldn’t jump… or jump onto a 20″ box, but because I was too AFRAID to jump on to a 20″ box.  I guess I was afraid of missing, falling off, & hurting myself.  That fear was conquered with a little exercise that Coach Tom D. made me do over & over again one day.  Tom made me invincible.  He said jump… I said, “How high?”  And my fear of box jumps was broken…

Sometime last week, during the new Russian Gymnastics warm-up, I was practicing getting into a handstand with the help of Ted.  I would kind of half-ass kick up & Ted would catch my legs/feet & bring me to the wall & hold me there.  I could not get into a handstand without him doing this.  Handstands prior to this have either been scaled similarly or scaled with a box or the bands.  Even the one time I was supported by the bands, I still had to have Brett catch my legs/feet to steady myself.

Oh… and then there was that one time… at band camp… just kidding (but not really… because I really did go to band camp when I was 16)… that I kicked Theresa (almost in her face), as she & Sean spotted me on a handstand & I kicked up, couldn’t hold myself, & went tumbling down.  Thank God I missed Theresa’s face.  I was embarrassed enough that I kicked her in the shoulder.  Now that was graceful…

So tonight, I cringed a little bit when I saw that I had to get myself into a handstand; however, I didn’t take like 10 minutes saying I couldn’t do (like I did last week, wasting time).  I almost immediately went over to the wall & asked Kim if she could help me.  She willingly stood there to spot me, I kicked up & back, like I meant it… and she put her hand on my left leg just as it hit the wall!  Kim must just have the magic touch!  Thanks Kim!  ;-)

And there it was… my very first, unassisted handstand!  And better yet… there were a few more to follow!  I don’t know how to describe it, but it was like something clicked!  And of course, I felt like a little kid on Christmas morning!  :-D  Now I will be able to start practicing handstand push-ups!  Oh my!

Next fears to be conquered… cargo net & rope climb… talk about a fear of heights!  I just may pee myself doing those… #conqueringfearsonebladderreleaseatatime

I’ve Got $$$ on the Mind… uh, I mean CrossFit… and WAAYYY too much almond butter in my stomach…

Clearly I should NOT blog past a certain time (it is 11:37pm) when my brain is past the point of “normal” functioning, given the title of this post… but I’ve got a few things on my mind… that don’t really have anything to do with each other, so this is going to be a 3 in 1 post… triple WHAMMY!  Are you excited??  You should be!  Get excited!

3, 2, 1, GO!

#1 – LISTENING TO YOUR BODY

I took my scheduled rest day on Friday… returned home Friday night around 12:30am, so technically Saturday morning, after seeing Mission Impossible:  Ghost Protocol (sidenote – recommended movie!).  Tummy was feeling icky since earlier in the evening & proceeded to get worse.  I tried to go to sleep when I got home, but was so uncomfortable that I moved myself to the comfort of the bathroom floor with my head in the toilet bowl.  How come when you want to throw up, you can’t?  And when you don’t want to throw up, you do?  So then it was back to my bed, in an attempt to sleep it off.  I had to get up early Saturday morning to teach at the Y & then I hit the 10am WOD, which was killer Tabata!  Stomach pains returned shortly after finishing the WOD.  Maybe they were there the entire time.  Maybe I just didn’t notice because Tabata was kicking my ass.

Long story short, without me going into detail about my weekend… I felt crappy all weekend.  I took a rest day Friday & wasn’t planning on taking another one until Monday, since I worked about a 12 hour day today, buuttt… I needed to listen to my body.  My brain & heart were saying, “SUCK IT UP & GET YOUR ASS TO CROSSFIT!”  My body was saying, “Please just stay in bed all day.  Please.”  My body won… probably because it has made my brain smarter over the years.  I have suffered some pretty serious injuries in the past 5-7 years, which have put me out of commission for 3+ months at a time.  There’s nothing worse than not being able to workout when you are a workout-aholic & your second home is the gym.  So, not only did I take my scheduled rest day on Friday, but I took a rest day on Sunday & today (Monday).  That’s 3 rest days in 4 days.  I don’t mind taking 2 rest days a week, but I HATE taking 2 rest days IN A ROW.  My body needed it & I’m sure will appreciate it when I go to workout tomorrow.

My purpose for posting this… don’t be afraid to take an extra rest day if you need it.  Our bodies know best.  They protect ourselves.  In the long run, we are doing our body more good than harm by taking the extra rest day, or even 2 like I did.

#2 – Confessions of a Food Addict

I started zoning on Saturday, which most of you probably saw the facebook status & post in the 90 Day Challenge group about zoning.  If you did not see it, the big debate was that I’m zoning at 10 blocks, which a majority of people are concerned is not enough food for me.  I am doing 10 because it is the recommended amount according to my body weight & type.  Saturday & Sunday I felt pretty good… and I didn’t even realize it, but I was actually short 1 block on Saturday… I wasn’t hungry & that could have been in part to me not feeling well this weekend.  Today, however… I was pretty much hungry all day… and tonight I took a spoon to my almond butter jar & ate about 1/4 of it.  That is my confession.  Again, I was listening to my body & it was telling me that I needed to eat more.  I know on the zone, when adjusting it, fats are usually increased, which is why I chose to do damage to the almond butter.  Hopefully tomorrow I will be back on track.

Don’t worry… I am writing down EVERY food & drink item that crosses my lips… how I was feeling when I ate it (full, hungry, etc.), what time I ate it, & I am also writing down how I feel during my workouts (weak, tired, etc.).  The three things I am tracking are weight loss, feeling hungry, & loss of strength.  In 2 weeks, I will use my data to assess how I’ve been feeling, etc. & use that information to adjust my blocks if necessary.

Not that you care that I ate a quarter of a jar of almond butter, but felt I needed to put it out there, haha.

#3 – DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER

Tonight I found myself facebook chatting with Lisa Malinoski Johnson & I’m glad we did.  I have smiled & said hi to Lisa in passing at ACF, but have never had a conversation with her before.  The moral of the story (of me having had a conversation with a women who is technically a stranger to me) is don’t judge a book by its cover.  Disclaimer – Lisa, I have never judged you, as I don’t know you (until a little bit tonight).  Even though as CrossFitters, we come to ACF for one main reason – To Be Better Than Yesterday – I know we judge each other & I will admit that I am as guilty as any of you.  What I have learned by talking with Lisa tonight… and maybe not necessarily learned, but was reinforced… that all of us at ACF have a different story to tell, but in those stories are similarities… similarities that bring us together, that connect us as fellow CrossFitters.  Stories that turn strangers into acquaintances, acquaintances into friends, & friends into family.  Community.  That’s what CrossFit is all about.

I challenge all of you to talk to somebody you have never spoken with before at ACF… to take a few minutes to say hi & get to know them.  I think you’d be surprised at what comes out of that little chat… and who knows, maybe those few minutes, brightens that persons’ day or leaves a lifelong impression on them.  I also urge you to reach out to our CrossFit family in times of need.  We all have our differences & possibly dislikes about others, but when it comes down to it… we all care.  As the saying goes, you may not like your family members, but you always love them… and there is lots of love at Albany CrossFit!  Lots of it… so reach out & grab it when you need it!

On that note, I leave you with lots of love my fellow CrossFitters <3 <3 <3

Yours Truly,

- C

 

Happy Anniversary… to ME!

Thursday, January 27th, 2011, was my very first CrossFit WOD (and by very first, I’m not counting the three 5 minute WODs done during my three Elements sessions)!

What can I say?? …CrossFit has been life changing.

So lets start from the beginning, with my very first WOD… it was a Thursday… Austin was my coach.  (Sidenote – I loved Austin & truly miss him.  I found him to be knowledgeable, genuinely caring, & extremely motivating.  I’ll admit, I probably have a soft spot for Austin because he was my Day 1 Elements Coach… and we all know how terrifying & intimidating CrossFit is when you first join.)  Back to the WOD… we warmed up as a group & foam rolled as an “After Party.”  The WOD itself was 5 rounds for time of 30 box jumps & 50 air squats (talk about killing the legs!).  I’m not sure what the height of the box I used was, but it was definitely one of the shorter ones because I had a serious fear of box jumps/height.  I completed this WOD in 15:39.  I didn’t write this down, but my guess is… I felt like I was going to die in those 15 minutes.  :-p  But nonetheless, I was back for more the next day… for a KILLER 30 minute AMRAP of 5 burpees, 10 push press, 10 pull-ups, & 5 wall climbs (talk about dying!).

So let me just take a brief journey back to a year ago… and where I am now…

When I first started CrossFit, I couldn’t do ONE non-modified push-up… now I can do about 10 (possibly more at this point) unbroken.  I couldn’t do ONE, unassisted pull-up (I started on the green band)… now I can do 2 unbroken, strict pull-ups.  The first time I did “Elizabeth” was 2.4.11 & I used 35# for my power cleans… now, the other week on 1.9.12, I hit 2 power cleans at 80# & a week later, on 1.16.12, I hit 3 hang squat cleans at 90#!

Sometimes it’s frustrating if I’m trying to do something & can’t get it, but that’s when I have to remind myself where I started & how far I’ve come.  Progress may not be as fast as I’d like, but it’s definitely there… the numbers prove it.

Now lets talk Strong(WO)man!  I don’t know when I began taking Strongman… it was either in the spring or summer & if it wasn’t for Tom D., I would not be where I am today (and I quite possibly would not be doing Strongman) & I mean that!  I LOVE Tom D.  There is something about his presence that makes me invincible.  He would tell me to do something, I would tell him I couldn’t… he’d give me that look like, “Really??” & tell me to do it again… and I would… somehow I just would!  Tom is caring & genuine & down to earth.  I miss having him as a coach at ACF.  I remember my first Strongman class… Jenny & I were the only two women (and this is where we fell in love! <3 ).  We worked on stones & I’m pretty sure I couldn’t even get the 30# stone to my shoulder.  Last night I was rockin the 60# stone to my shoulder!  In even more BADASS StrongWOman news… I got my first log press AND my first keg press in the same week!!!!!  Awesome doesn’t even begin to describe how both of those moments felt.  Oh… and I have also flipped the 300+lb. tire!

**Are you scared shit less to try Strongman?  Do you think you’re not going to be able to do that?**  Well, weren’t those the same feelings we all had when we joined CrossFit itself?!? …but you’re doing it now!  Let me tell you something… If I, standing at 5’1 1/2″ short & 113lbs. can do Strongman… so can YOU!  I think it’s safe for me to say that I am probably THE smallest girl doing Strongman, but that doesn’t stop me.  I just don’t quit… and if I don’t get something at first, I try again the next time.  So let me ask you again… what’s stopping you??

What else?  What else?  I guess I’d have to say that the biggest change for me, aside from strength, which is a given… is my diet.  I was vegetarian for 3 years prior to CrossFit & for a good couple months into CrossFit (I had also played around with vegetarianism when I was younger).  To keep a long story short, I started to feel like shit… and by shit, I mean… I was dizzy & lightheaded throughout most of the day.  It was the night I practically passed out while checking out at the grocery store, that I decided it was either CrossFit or vegetarianism, but it couldn’t be both.  I was not willing to quit CrossFit, so I sucked it up & slowly started to add meat back into my diet.  To my surprise, I am enjoying eating meat (especially now that I’m starting to learn how to cook it, haha) & feeling better.  Meat STILL grosses me out.  I gag at the sight of it & most definitely while I’m touching it to prepare it… and lets not even talk about the fact that I’m eating a dead animal…

Along with eating meat, I have cut out grains from my diet (having been born & raised on eating pasta & breads… can you say ITALIAN?!?).  I have also cut out some dairy, not all.  I have done Primal/am currently eating Primal & am now starting to dabble with the Zone.

So… it’s getting late, to the point where my brain is starting to not think… and I’ve definitely written enough for all of you to read, but before I go…

A big THANK YOU to all of the coaches for your knowledge & guidance… and most of all, an immense THANK YOU to my CrossFit community who have become friends & family to me.  Thank you for your concern, your support, your motivation, your drive, your love… you are all truly inspirational.  THANK YOU & much LOVE.  <3

Yours Truly,

- C

Why?

WHY?

…probably one of life’s most asked, yet most unsettling answered question.

…a question I was asked last night & was surprised to find that words didn’t easily come out at all, let alone form something that I would call an “answer.”

Let me back up… I had a happy hour date with two of my girlfriends.  We went to Wheat Fields, a very nice wine bistro, in Clifton Park.  Happy hour was from 4-7pm.  I got there at 6:30pm… just in time to get my buy 1, get 1 free drink special; however, I had already told myself (multiple times for multiple days) that I would drink water & order a Primal friendly dinner… but when I arrived, both of my girlfriends, drink in hands, advised me that I get my drinks before 7pm.  For a split second, I almost stuck to my original plan of water, but in the next split second of watching my friends sipping their wine, along with the rest of the guests in the restaurant, & the atmosphere that comes along with being at a wine bistro… I decided that life is too short to not enjoy a good glass of wine (or two) with two of my best friends.  Up to the bar I went, to get my buy 1, get 1 free Riesling (which by the way, I greatly enjoyed both glasses).  I did order (fairly) Primal for dinner – a salad & crab cakes (unfortunately, which I think were lightly fried on the outside? …something I didn’t think about when I ordered… I was staying away from grains & going for protein).  Then the Riesling started to kick in…  ”ut oh!” is right…  I blame the restaurant… they just so happened to have their dessert menu on the dinner menu & I just so happened to see that they serve cannolis for dessert!  I am almost 100% Italian… cannolis are IN my blood! Yesterday was day 7 of 14 of breaking my sugar addiction, but blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol… (yes, I’m a lightweight!) & my evening’s prior decision that life is too short to not enjoy food I love (and rarely eat), I ordered a connolis.  To my surprise, not only did one, but TWO cannolis arrive on my plate… and not only did I eat one, but I ate BOTH of them!

You’re all probably thinking, “…but where does WHY? come into play?”  To make a long conversation shorter & more to the point… there was a brief comment on my part that I should not be eating/drinking what I was eating/drinking, followed by a brief explanation of the challenge.  This was followed by the question WHY? by one of my girlfriends, which she then followed up with a statement that I wasn’t really sure how to take (you will understand this in a minute or two…).  Before I share what the statement was, I need to put a disclaimer out there that I love my friend who made this comment & in no way was I offended or did I think she was purposefully trying to offend me in any way.

“Why? …You don’t look any different to me.”

On an emotional level, I didn’t know how to take this statement.  Honestly, it made me feel kind of bad about myself (though I KNOW that’s not how my friend intended me to take it).  Why did I feel bad about that statement is a me problem & one I don’t think I’m going to address in this post.  They WHY question I AM going to address is this post is WHY I am participating in this challenge.  Most people might say, “but Carissa… you don’t need to lose weight!” & I’m guessing that’s where my friend was coming from in stating that I don’t look any different.  So her question of WHY created a domino effect of me asking myself WHY?  WHY shouldn’t I drink wine?  WHY shouldn’t I eat a cannoli (or two)?  WHY am I doing this challenge.

Here’s what I’ve come up with…

1 – to prove to myself that I can (but did I already disprove this since I “cheated,” or as I like to call it, “treated?”).

2 – to prove to others that I can

3 – to feel better (on the inside)

4 – to look better (on the outside)

5 – to improve in CrossFit

6 – to win one of the prizes (though not as important as my above listed reasons)

Great… so I have at least 6 reasons as to WHY I’m participating in the challenge, but do I really need to deprive myself of food & drink that I enjoy?  A lot of non-CrossFitters (and maybe some CrossFitters) would probably say “no way… you can eat whatever you want… you’re so skinny!”  A lot of CrossFitters would say, “Yes, you shouldn’t have drank wine or eaten cannolis!” …not because they’d say I’d get fat, but they’d list the reasons we (CrossFitters) eat Primal/Paleo… reduces inflammation, etc.  As a general statement, non-CrossFitters see the outside – fat vs. skinny.  CrossFitters see the outside, but understand the inside – what certain foods do to our body on the inside.  While I may not be “fat” on the outside, that doesn’t mean that my body doesn’t need to be taken care of on the inside.

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So now that I had to write so much to explain where I wanted to go with this post, I forget where I wanted to go with it, haha.  That & it’s almost 11pm.  But WHY are YOU participating in this challenge (if you are)?  Do you think you will stick with how strict you are being right now?  or will you give yourself a little leeway come April 1st (wow… that date seems so far away)?

Is it INtrinsic or EXtrinsic motivation driving you through this challenge??

“With extrinsic motivation, people act to win external rewards or avoid external punishments; with intrinsic motivation, people act for their own satisfaction.” – Gretchen Rubin – The Happiness Project

Is it the potential to win a free year membership to Albany CrossFit/CrossFit Clifton Park keeping you strict??  Or is your own, personal satisfaction doing so??

WHY? …you tell me!

Under Construction…

Please bare with me, as this is my 1st ever blogging experience!

Thanks,

- C